July 29th: Drs appointment at a new OB/gyn...found out I wasn't tested for everything at the previous OB and would need further testing...I felt so angry! Asked about cost of these test was told if we payed cash on the day of service it would be right around 550-600.00, I became more angry, we didn't have that money just laying around, and all though conceiving a child is number one to us both we still have to live and pay our regular bills. Dr said no more appointments and no meds would be prescribed until those test were ran, she didn't want to treat something with meds if she didn't know what she was treating. I totally understood that and it gave me some sense of confidence in her. We went home. I cried, we prayed, life went on...
August 23rd: Called OB/gyn to schedule the test that were needed (its important to keep in mind that one of those test is an HSG considered an out patient procedure), Spoke with receptionist, was planning on scheduling both test for the same day near the end of September. Receptionist asked if I had spoken with the hospital about their cost of the HSG, replied no was transferred to the appropriate department at HCMH(elkin). Was told that in addition to the cost that the Dr charges for the HSG, the hospital charges about 500.00.(that's the cost after a 33% discount for cash, and that's only 80% off the actual cost, but the 500.00 is due on the day of service).. I fought tears back as I thanked the kind lady for her time, hung up the phone,did the math I needed around 1004.00. I was heart broken and feeling incredibly alone...called my mama(that's what I do when I need advice) mamas' advice is normally the same, she suggested we pray, I agreed. I cried some more, Something you must understand about me, I hate asking for help its just not something I like to do, but when I thought about the 1000 I needed plus the feeling of already not being "women" enough to make a baby I became hysterical...
Today: I'm holding it together, been looking again at insurance, for the most part have received the same answer form the insurance companies, either a flat out "no we don't cover infertility or maternity coverage" or "we cover the diagnosis of infertility but not the treatment" I cant help but to wonder why us? If you've never dealt with infertility then you have no idea, no idea of the things
Right now: I'm sitting here imagining the moment when we will find out all of our faith and all our waiting has paid off, I think of the too cute baby outfits Ive bought in the last couple of weeks, cause hey you gatta walk by faith and for me, if I have to remind myself to keep my faith by buying baby items here and there, well then call me crazy if you want, but I'm believing God that there will be a baby or babies to fill those clothes...I would show you all because they are adorable, but its hard enough admitting I have baby clothes and shoes and no babies for those things yet....
We've done it all, and heard it all..."when its time it will happen, just relax, try not to think about it, your still young you have plenty of time." While we appreciate those who want to give advice, somethings are just easier said than done and somethings are never understood until its you...I'm a wealth of knowledge when it comes to TTC(trying to conceive) I've researched, I know things about a women's body that if I had to bet most women with children wouldn't even know, like the fact that a "normal" couple only has a 20% chance each month of conceiving, there is only about a week in each month that a women is fertile, NC is a state that doesn't mandate the coverage of infertility, so insurance companies in NC don't have to offer coverage for infertility, although 6.7 million women ages 15-44 in the U.S. have an inability to have children. While I know all of this the most important thing I know is that God's word has never failed, and he put a desire in my heart to be a mother, and his word says he will give me the desires of my heart, and as I've said before until then we will be faithfully waiting...
